In Chicago where I live, there's a, there's an outfit that could tow almost anything off the street.
    But they deal mostly with automobiles and we call 'em "The Lincoln Park Pirates".

    The street lamps are on in Chicago tonight
    And lovers, they're gazing at stars,
    The stores are all closin' and Daley is dozin'
    And the fat man is counting the car.

    "And there's more cars than places to put 'em," he said
    "But I got room for them all,
    So round 'em up boys 'cause I want some more toys,
    Hit the lot by the grocery store."

    To me --
    Way-hey-tow 'em away
    The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
    From Wilmette to Gary
    There's none that so hairy
    And we always collect our fee.

    To me --
    Way-hey-tow 'em away
    We plunder the streets of your town,
    Be it Edsel or Chevy,
    There's no car to heavy
    And no one can make us shut down.

    We break into cars when we gotta,
    With pick axe and hammer and saw,
    And they said this garage had no license
    But little care I for the law.

    All my drivers are friendly and courteous;
    Their good manners you always will get
    For they all are recent graduates
    Of the charm school in Joliet

    To me --
    Way-hey-tow 'em away
    The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
    From Wilmette to Gary
    There's none that so hairy
    And we always collect our fee

    To me --
    Way-hey-tow 'em away
    We plunder the streets of your town,
    Be it Edsel or Chevy,
    There's no car too heavy
    And no one can make us shut down.

    And when all of the cars are collected,
    And all of their fenders are ruined
    Then I'll tow every boat in Belmont Harbor
    To the Lincoln Park Lagoon.

    And when I've collected the ransom
    And sunk all the ones that won't yield,
    Then I'll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways
    At Midway, O'Hare and Meigs Field

    To me --
    Way-hey-tow 'em away
    The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
    From Wilmette to Gary
    There's none that so hairy
    And we always collect our fee.

    To me --
    Way-hey-tow 'em away,
    "Now citizens Gather around
    I think it's enough and let's call his bluff
    Let's tow the bum out of town!"